You see, last night I offered my friend Adriana a banana when she amusingly began to peel the thing from the wrong end. Several of my church family were gathered together for a meeting and there was hunger about the place. So I gave out a couple of extra bananas to the people who needed to munch on something. As a few of us stood around chatting, Adriana simply stated, "I'm peeling my banana from the bottom cause that's how monkeys do it." Then she flashed an impish smile and wiggled her eyebrows to highlight the comment. I thought she was kidding. She wasn't.
So being who I am and needing to check that fact, I looked up a couple of videos and did some research. It turns out she was exactly right. Monkeys will peel a banana from the bottom and not the stem since it is easier than opening it from the top. To add to that, I noted that a few monkeys then use the stem as a handle holding the thing between their toes. Who would have thought that for over thirty years (Yup! I'm not telling!) I've been doing something so simple the hard way? But what exactly does this have to do with my spiritual soul searching?
For seven out of the last eight years of my life I've experienced extended moments of great solitude. That's no secret. I shared it before. It's not that I haven't shared wonderful moments with my family. I have and I hold them dearly. I love my children and am so proud of them that it is almost surreal. I am still not sure what I did to deserve such wonderful kids. This, unfortunately, was a solitude that originated from within.
However, what I realized last night and have been learning over time is that God has surrounded me with wonderful, funny, kindhearted, and interesting people who I love, reciprocally. They have been there to listen to my nonsense, laugh at my silly jokes, give a word of encouragement, invite me into their spaces, and have called me a sister and friend. And they aren't all new friends either.
This past year I have reconnected with beloved friends of my teens and twenties that I haven't seen in twenty-plus years. We've shared tapas, had dinner or breakfast, sat and chatted casually, and looked into each other's eyes knowing that not a day had passed since I'd seen them last. It has been the richest, most beautiful experience to be able to know that what we'd built in our lifetimes has withstood the test of time. That we could pick up where we'd left off and say honestly, "It is so wonderful to see you doing well. When are we doing this again?" It is great to know that I can call any of a dozen of people at this moment and find someone with whom to share a cup of coffee or a fresh, hot pizza.
Simply put, I am not and will never be alone. I am loved and know how to return love without expectations or demands. I have peace where I am standing today and know that the choices I am making for myself and my family are leading to even better places filled with loved ones who cherish me in every facet of my being. From the Novys to the Suzis, from the Carmens, Maris, and Elenas to the Davids, from the Eunices, Monicas, Jescels, Susanas, Gildas, and beyond to the banana eating Adrianas, I will never be alone. I will be richer each day as we hold the experiences we share in our hearts and allow them to make our souls even the deepest, most fertile ground for friendship. Am I concerned about that life partner I'd like to have? Not really. It may or may not happen. My ability to be happy and content with my life does not depend on others. It does, however, depend on my posture and attitude. I have chosen life and have decided to live it abundantly no matter where I stand.
Most of all, I know and believe that the God I serve is good. That he provides for our needs and gives us peace where ever we are, alone or accompanied. As a matter of fact, I can tell you that there is no greater solitude than to experience loneliness in a room full of people. That, my friends, is far worse than anything else life can throw at you. I speak from a place of experience.
So today I celebrate the lives that have touched me this past year in so many ways. From the ones I thought lost to ones that are building new bridges with me, they are all peeling their bananas in their own ways. I love watching them, taking what they have to offer, and sharing what I can give as well. I love you all, more deeply than you can imagine, and promise one thing as I sit alone in my living room feeling happier and more fulfilled than I have in a decade at the richness of it all: That no matter how far you are or where your path may lead, you will always be in my prayers. And, If you need me, there will always be a cup of coffee or a banana for you in my home and a place for you in my heart. God bless you and keep you always.
I found out about the banana peeling thing 3-4 years back. I also know how to evenly divide a banana into 3 parts based on its geometric formation.
ReplyDeleteThat's lovely.
Delete