If you ever get to know me you’ll find that I’m
probably too easy to please. It is the smallest, most simple things that can
make me truly joyful. A simple smile, a kind word or note, holding the door
open for me when I know you are in as much of a rush as I, and, in this modern
day, a text saying I’m thinking about you all hold way more weight in my book
than the collective financial riches on this planet.
Just today a student approached me out of the blue.
If you knew this little first grader, you’d understand that she’s way too
serious to be six. She is sweet, respectful, and kind, yet stoic in her
semblance to the point it seems she may always take sarcasm at face value and
then ask the why of it. Well, today she got out of her seat without permission
and came to me with a little smile on her face. I was shocked and thought
surely her desk must have caught fire for her to break a classroom rule and get
up without permission! I looked at her and said, “Yes?” waiting for an off the
wall response. Instead, she said in her sweetest voice, “You’re the
most awesome teacher in the world!” and wrapped her arms around my head.
Wow! How did I get to deserve that? I’m really not
sure, but I’m overwhelmed by her sincere gesture of affection for a person who
she only knows as teacher. For all she knows I could be a horrible wretch the
rest of the time. Do I really show that much patience and care? For some reason
she found a grace in me that I had somewhat forgotten.
That was at 8:23 in the morning and I am still
smiling. Coming from this gentle, caring soul who was so cautious in her
assessment of life and her environment, I took it as the highest honor anyone
could bestow on my person. In so much as the politics and paperwork of my job
can seem frustrating at times, it is that kind word, that assessment and the
effort I know that genuine, innocent smile took that make me realize that I am
truly blessed. But that wasn't it for today!
On the way back from the library a boy from my class
picked a bunch tiny of flowers. I’d noticed that he was up to something and
braced myself as he leaped toward me. “Here Ms. D!” he stated proud of his
accomplishment and handed me his tiny collection. As I thanked him and said I
felt special he said, “You are special… and pretty. They match you.” I melted
at that moment and thought to myself that I really am an ungrateful soul! How
can I feel alone when I am surrounded by so many who love and appreciate me?
I was complaining to my friend recently about the
time we spend together. I was all bent out of shape because he’d replied to
texts or gone online for a bit when we were spending time together. He said to
me, “I feel like you’re focusing on little things. Tiny details and not
appreciating the rest.” He was absolutely right. Instead of focusing on the big
picture, the days and evenings we’d spent together enjoying each other’s
company, a movie, a meal, much more than I had with any one person in several
years, I was focusing on the little things. I was behaving like a spoiled brat
that didn’t want to share my new shiny toy.
I didn’t grow up with the tech we have today and
have become hypersensitive to it in recent years as well as hyper-addicted to
it in equal measure. Yet that’s no excuse to be so negative with someone who
has truly added so much to my life. Shouldn’t I understand that it’s hard to
peel away from it? Shouldn’t I know that, over all the people he could be
spending time with, he’d chosen to give it to me? That he has others he’s
trying to keep happy, too? Nah! I chose to complain about the little things.
The ones that, in this case, were really unimportant because it was only a few
minutes for something that was important to him. I was wrong and, if he’d been
any other person, he might have dropped me like a hot potato. Thankfully, he
has way more patience than I do.
So as I reflect today and continue my soul
searching in order to overcome my self-perceived solitude, I ask God to help me
focus on the right little things. To see the blessings He’s placed in my life,
large and small, and not focus on minor distractions which cloud a brighter
picture. And when there are clouds, to be able to discern the difference
between the ones that are harmful and may cause turmoil and those intended to
be a little bit of shade on an overly hot, sunny day. If I’m truly honest with
myself, I’ll recognize the fact that even the storm clouds have the ability to
refresh and renew the earth. To bring new life.
Really, it’s up to me. It’s a matter of perception
and attitude. Today I choose to view the positive and see all those people who
enrich my life from here on out. To embrace the little blessings and trash the
otherwise small, negative ones. I hope I can make this one a permanent change. I
know that God has so much more in store for me if I do.
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